officialunitedstates:

you’re brushing your teeth when suddenly your mint toothpaste tastes like eggs. do you

a)  power through and continue brushing
b)  wash your mouth out
c)  go to your fridge and get out the eggs and bite one to see if it tastes minty

partner: you be the teacher ill be the student ;)
me: okay
me: write an essay on whether theatre architecture of a particular period always reflects that period's culture. i want it on my desk by monday
partner: oh no but... thats such a hard essay... is there anything i can do for extra credit? ;)
me: no
partner: but professor.... surely then i could... persuade you to extend the deadline...? ;)
me: no
partner: so... what do you want, professor?? ;)))
me: an essay on whether theatre architecture of a particular period always reflects that period's culture. on my desk. by monday
killbenedictcumberbatch:

willowmansdaughter:

Martin & Cracker

what kind of name is martin for a dog

killbenedictcumberbatch:

willowmansdaughter:

Martin & Cracker

what kind of name is martin for a dog

panic-at-the-bilbo:

I thought this was hilarious when I was drunk

panic-at-the-bilbo:

I thought this was hilarious when I was drunk

modestmgmtofficial:

identical twins have so much power tbh last year my lab partner steve came in with pierced ears and everyone was like whoa steve when did u get them pierced and he was like i’ve had them for 3 years. i’m not steve. and he just sat down and started taking notes. the next day steve came in and was like did u guys see my brother jake yesterday lmao we switched schools

amoyed:

I love this kid